I'm not a fan of surgery. Specifically, of me having to have surgery. But part of the reconstruction process requires that I go have the expanders, installed at the time of my mastectomy, replaced with implants. And I'm here to tell you that the tissue expanders hurt. Hurt enough that I sometimes wonder why I decided to go the reconstruction route. The edges press against my ribs, the tabs are sharp and poke into the underside of my skin, and the metal ports in them make me throb when I'm cold. And these days I am almost always cold. The pain of the expanders jolts me awake and I have not slept through the night in 58 days. They make moving and paying attention difficult during the day. So much so that I was eager to cut short the process, call it good enough, and schedule this surgery.
So wish me well, please, as I jump through this surgical hoop tomorrow morning and try to heal as quickly as possible to move forward with the next phase of this waking nightmare.