Thursday, September 27, 2018

So planning for this round to be better may have been wishful thinking.

I thought if I knew what to expect and how to medicate in advance, I'd do better this round. You know, because I am that capable of warding off bad symptoms through my keen intellect and strength of will.

"Ha ha!" replied the Universe.
I was, in fact, able to ward off the bone pain by taking claritin and aleve in advance and through the first several days. And I'm grateful for that. But otherwise, this round was worse. I'd been warned that the effects of chemo are cumulative and each round is generally harder. Turns out, that's true. This time I had a few really bad days where I did not leave the couch unless I had to. I couldn't focus enough to read, so I've been watching a lot of movies and television shows on Netflix, choosing things that don't require much attention. And this round, I had nausea for the first time. Yay. Thank goodness that among my arsenel of prescription meds, I have bottles of zofran, phenergan, and compazine. And I'm so bloody tired. It's like slogging through mud.

But the side effect I like the least is the weird taste in my mouth. And by weird, I mean putrid. It tastes like something died in my mouth and start rotting. No amount of tooth-brushing or saltwater or biotène rinse takes it away. As a consequence, most food tastes really bad. Even plain water tastes fetid and water has no flavor at all. I would think of something I might be able to eat, my husband would make it for me, and I'd take a bite, gag and throw it away. That was fun for both of us.
I'm climbing up out of the pit now and resigning myself to this happening with more intensity each of the next two rounds. But I'll get through it. Even if I have moments in the next round where I think, "I can't do this anymore." I will finish. And at least I have the view of my yard and feeders and the small rascals who visit them.

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