It's remarkable how quickly you fall into a pattern, and how difficult it is to break out of it. In just a few days, I got used to simple meals on my little deck, long walks by the water and around the island, returning to the condo and showering in a vain attempt to clear away that resistant film of sand and sunscreen and sweat that you seem to acquire at a beach.
But real life always awaits. After a final lazy morning on the beach last Monday, I headed back to load up my car and drive inland towards my mountains. In May when I went I went up to New England, my birthplace, it felt comfortable. But it did not feel like "home." In the coastal Southeast, however, I settle back in with an ease that always surprises me. The weighty humid air, the salty breeze, the sandy soil beneath my feet - all take me back to childhood camping trips at the beach. As I walked back over the wooden boardwalk to go home, three older women passed me as they headed for the shore. Straw hats and sunglasses shielded their faces, gauzy cover-ups masked their heavy thighs, and the scent of cigarettes and coconut oil clung to them. They all smiled at me and the last one greeted me with a gravelly-voiced, "Mornin'." The folks here are nothing like me and yet they are my people. I found myself turning to watch them as they made their way down to the sand, lugging chairs and drinks and novels, and I couldn't help but smile at their retreating backs. I like to think that they will settle in as I did, gaze out at the shorebirds wheeling over the waves, and breathe deeply.
Sounds like a wonderfully satisfying end to your vacation. I was going to say 'to your time out from reality', but if all of that wasn't reality, then I don't know what is!
ReplyDeleteA reasonable end across the board, I think.
DeleteIt was relaxing just to read about your experience.
ReplyDeleteSweet. And bittersweet. At the same time.
ReplyDeleteIndeed.
Deletesounds like a good end to the vacation..a little extension...it is a bit bittersweet knowing it could not be but i guess that too was/is good to know...
ReplyDeleteI needed to really recognize it, and that helped.
DeleteYou do seem to have a way of ending things with people on easy, relaxed terms so that you remain friends. Sounds like a really nice night!
ReplyDeleteI don't always manage that, but in this case, especially, there was too much good there to end it bitterly.
DeleteAs relaxing as this sounds I don't know how long I could live that kind of lifestyle for. Too quiet, no Internet, no technology.
ReplyDeleteNot for me I guess.
Getting older might change your perspective.
DeleteYou are more together than I would be in the case of something that will not be. There is a sense if finality that shadows reality and for me the residual feeling is sadness
ReplyDeleteYou are painterly with your words here, cs. Very skilled and beautiful descriptions. I can see those women at the beach so vividly, experience the feel of ex boyfriend's body on that makeshift bench
I read all of this slowly and you took me along in a moment of both solitary and deep connection and communion.
Love xoxo
kj
Oh, kj, there is sadness in spades there.
DeleteAnd thank you very much - this one seemed to write itself.
Make that 'a sense of finality' and add fulfillment to the sense of sadness
ReplyDeletexoxo
:-) I read it the right way.
DeleteI was going to say......oh sure it's the end! But I realize we readers don't really know all that's going on behind the scenes.
ReplyDeleteHope your week back to reality is a great one.
I think it is this time. Truly,
DeleteWhat Liz said. You seem to be very adept at maintaining friendly contacts with people and not separating with hard feelings. That sounds like a lovely and unexpected end to your vacation.
ReplyDeleteIt was, and I do treasure it.
DeleteAre you sure it's the end? -;)
ReplyDeleteSounds perfect to me!
ReplyDeleteLove this post, your words just flowed perfectly.
What a great ending to your vacation.
Thanks so much.
DeleteAt the risk of sounding a little dim ---Why are you not with this guy? You sound perfect together.
ReplyDeleteYou can't have a serious relationship with someone who does not want one.
DeleteDamn that reality ...someone who doesn't want or somehow can't have a serious relationship . :-(
DeleteOne day you will have that mutuality With a healthy ready guy. i really believe that xoxo
Oh, I know. The grief is in letting go.
Deleteend of a vacation beginning of another adventure?
ReplyDeleteNot directly related to this post but I just found this Ziggy Marley tune that I thought you would relate to the lyrics.
True to myself by Ziggy Marley
http://youtu.be/yMEARFbMh0I
There's always another adventure, it's jus a matter of discovering what it is.
DeleteI'll get to that video when I get a chance.
That's a real bitter-sweet moment. You know you have to let it go, but that last lingering pleasure is like cake at the end of a meal.
ReplyDeleteCake before you go on a diet!
DeleteYour writing is beautiful. In involves all the senses and makes it easy to imagine having such an experience. Sounds like a perfect vacation all around.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I appreciate that.
Delete