On the way to the guitar store, my older son was playing various types of metal music on his Macbook for my edification (
not at my request). My younger son was in the back seat, occasionally commenting. I asked about one song, and this conversation occurred:
OS:
"That's an interesting question. Some people would classify it as deathcore but it's really too melodic. So I'm going to call it melodic deathcore."
Me: "The Death Corps would be a good name for a deathcore band."
OS: "It really would. Do you know what this genre is?"
Me: "Umm.. Celtic metal?"
OS: "No, pirate metal. One of the weirder metals."
YS: "I think tungsten is one of the weirder metals."
OS: "There are not enough knees in the world to slap for that."
Me: "And what's that?"
OS: "Swedish Satanic black metal. Not to be confused with Norwegian Satanic black metal, which is entirely different."
Me: "Well, that goes without saying."
I elected to stay in the car, because the guitar store is loud and chaotic. But it was cold and I was bored. I had a staring contest with the poor dog in the car next to me. I think he was glad when his driver returned. When the dog had gone, I started texting everyone I knew to express my boredom and to say that I wished I had a book. Then I noticed a Dollar Tree. Everything's a dollar! I find this a bizarre concept, that every single item in the store has been assigned the exact same value. But it was good news for me, because I found four books and a pair of reading glasses, all for five bucks and tax. I've since read the first one, a rather disturbing novel about a serial child torturer/murderer.
We ended the evening at a Chinese restaurant that my older son insisted was a favorite of his. Except that they have lost their liquor license so I couldn't even get a beer to wash the mediocre-at-best food down. On top of that, my misspelled fortune declared that patience is my "alley." I'm not sure if it's the same road that is paved with good intentions, but we all know where that leads!
Patience is the name of an alley in Shanghai. This is a sign from heaven. Go there and see what awaits you.
ReplyDeleteIf you have a look at my post on the 7th, you will see that I do NOT need to go looking for more trouble!
Deletebe careful in alleys...dont criminals hang out there? smiles...ha on all the music genres as well....
ReplyDeleteha, mr charleston....
Alleys seem to be a little on the shady side, that's for sure.
Delete" On top of that, my misspelled fortune declared that patience is my "alley." I'm not sure if it's the same road that is paved with good intentions, but we all know where that leads!"
ReplyDeleteOMG...that is SO FUNNY!!!!
And you just love the Dollar Store? I got some really nice-looking wine glasses there a few days ago. For a DOLLAR!!!!!
:-)
DeleteI know, it's crazy what you can find in those stores!
The stories about your sons always make me laugh. What a pair of comedians!
ReplyDeleteIt is kind of like living with a traveling act!
DeleteYour son's appreciation for music seems very eclectic. And oooohhh, I love me some Dollar Tree!
ReplyDeleteThat fortune may be a message from someone named Patience who is waiting in an alley. But...don't worry! She's got some books to keep her company...or something like that.
My son was originally an audio engineering major - music will probably always be close to his heart.
DeleteOr maybe I'll be getting a patient named Allie?
Doesn't sound like that book was worth even a dollar. Love the fortune cookie, and the metal lecture.
ReplyDeleteIt was an interesting book, just creepy.
DeleteI recall reading that fortunes in fortune cookies are made in the US. Maybe many Chinese restaurant eaters spend lots of time in alleys. Just my uneducated opinion, the metal rock music is over-categorized. Fun story - thanks for sharing
ReplyDeleteThey are written whoever the cookies are manufactured, bu that doesn't mean the writer always has a good grap of language.
DeleteYou should probably never tell a musician that you think any sort of music is over-categorized. Unless you like being the object of scorn, of course.
LOL with patience being your alley :) I was on someone else's blog recently that had their fortune from a cookie; made me think, who writes these fortunes? I think I could do just as good writing them.
ReplyDeleteMy husband teaches guitar at a guitar store/studio; in their "strip mall" is also a Dollar Tree; weird. Love the dollar store; so much fun to see what is offered there. Looks like you "hit" the jackpot.
betty
I read a story in the New Yorker about a fortune writer employed by a fortune cookie company. He carried a notebook around so that when inspiration it, he could write down a fortune.
DeleteWe have lots of £1 stores here in the UK and you can get some great bargains!
ReplyDeleteWho writes the fortunes in the cookies I wonder?
Each fortune cookie company hires their own writers.
DeleteSo an alley is a metaphor, maybe? Regarding your earlier post..."Just slip out the back, Jack. Make a new plan, Sam...."
ReplyDeleteI think it's Stan who is making a new plan. :-)
DeleteAnd maybe the metaphor here is my need for patience as a path, since impatience rarely leads me anywhere good.
Ah, another mondegreen on my part. One of many, as my girls remind me.
DeleteI had to google that. We had a double mondegreen in my family - In the England Dan and John Ford Coley lyric "I'm not talkin about movin' in" I sang "movin' in" as "the linen" and my Dad sang it as "Olivia."
DeleteOk, weird. I just googled the lyrics. I have always heard it as 'Olivia'. I had no idea it was movin' in. Wonder it there is a auditory thing with 'men of a certain age', and that song. We should do a study, there's a grant out there somewhere, you apply, I'll assist.
DeleteI LOVE that conversation you guys had in the car, that made me laugh. I had no idea there were so many different types of metal out there, and I love your son's response to the tungsten joke.
ReplyDeleteWe have a Dollar Tree here, too. There are a few other dollar stores here, but The Dollar Tree is my favorite. My mom and I save so much money there.
You know, I actually ended a relationship a few years ago after I finally let the guy have dinner with my kids. They were in their usual mode and he tried to join in. They would listen politely to his not-getting-it and then carry right on. I knew it would never work!
DeleteI had to chuckle about you being in the car, texting due to boredom. I do that all the time! And I love a misspelled fortune, just for the ironic twist. Tell me how you like the AJ Jacobs book. I've read all four of his books and really enjoyed them. Very amusing.
ReplyDeleteI do this in waiting rooms and other places of boredom, too.
DeleteSo far so good on the book. He's a funny guy.
If you are in Washington DC it leads to the Pentagon's parking lot....Everywhere else? HELL!!!!!!
ReplyDelete(Same place I think)
I LOVE The Dollar Tree!
Thats where I buy my nuts and cleaning supplies.
Have a Great Week-End Doc....:-)
I also bought some banana chips and sunflower seeds while I was at it.
Deletei think your kids and my kids would have interesting conversations.
ReplyDeleteI have no doubt that you are right!
DeleteSo a noisy music store led to a serial child torturer. Strange the twists and turns of life....
ReplyDeleteI love the amazing conversation with your sons. Are all your conversations as crazy as that?
We do occasionally just communicate about the basics, but this is not an unusual conversation for us.
DeleteDoes my saying I've never, ever heard of this type of music make me sound old ;-)
ReplyDeleteThe Dollar Store is a very fun and cheap way to pass the time.
Happy New Year! jj
If you've never heard of metal, maybe. But I think you'd be unlikely to know the genres if you weren't a fan.
DeleteSame to you!
Hilarious conversation with your sons. My favorite was the Tungsten comment.
ReplyDeleteMy husband wants to put me on a budget, maybe I need to frequent those dollar stores. Get my fix for a dollar a pop!
ReplyDeleteFinding it hard to imagine what some of those music types sound like.
It is a cheap fix, that's for sure.
Delete