My buzzards are keeping up their watch on my life.

A friend texted Saturday to say he'd bought a chair for his living room and a dining room table and chairs and I could come over to see them if I wasn't busy. I sat on his apple green couch and looked at the sage green living room chair and the hunter green dining room chairs.
Me: "You've got a frightening near-miss thing going on here." I got the colorblind look of incomprehension from him.
Him: "What do you mean?"
Me: "You know this couch is green, right? What color is that chair?"
Him: "Tan?"
Me: "And the other chairs?"
Him: "Brown?"
Me: "No!  They're all different kinds of green!"
Him: "Well, I like the tones."
Me: "Okay, but they don't go together. At all."
Him: "Welcome to my world."

Eventually we decided to go get some dinner. On the way down the highway, we very nearly hit some cows standing on the side of the road. I didn't even notice them until he said, "Black cows!" (Sure, he can't see green, but black cows at night he can see.) We doubled back while I called 911, and herded them up against the fence until a cop got there to drive them back into the pasture. The Thai place we wanted to go to didn't have a liquor license but said we could bring our own. We went to the gas station across the street to pick up a six-pack.  Up front was a display of fleece hoods and bananas. He picked up a hood and pointed one of the bananas like a gun, saying, "Look, the tools for a robbery right here at the cash register!"

The waitress poured our beers into water glasses and then later brought us some water in beer glasses. No matter, it was really, really good pad Thai.